mango_chango's Journal

Sorry China. Sorry California.
Rio says he is a fairy, so he is so strong he can pick up the whole planet.

"I stand in Fairyland and reach out and pick up the Earth with both hands. Sometimes I damage it a little. Those are earthquakes. People think it's just parts of the earth moving but really it's me."

Fun with acronyms
Teo likes to make up his own translation for acronyms he sees around. He notices a lot more of them than I do. For example, the telephone poles near our house say "CBA." Mateo has decided that stands for "Community of Bastrop Animators."

"FDC" on Guadalupe is " Federal Discovery of Calculus."

Rio likes kids
Poor thing, he doesn't get enough regular time with kids his age. He is often disappointed when we go to the park, because he only considers it a successful trip if he can find someone to play with - that is, someone besides me or Mateo.

When his friends do come over, he showers them with attention. He gives them his candy. He offers them food and drink and insists on serving them. He introduces people to them at Odd Friday. He is a very considerate if somewhat manic host.

After his guest has been plied with food and drink, he ushers her (most of his friends are girls) into his room and shuts the door, emerging periodically for help reaching things on high shelves, or to fetch water for his guest.

Rio's new favorite
I clicked a Joss Stone video on Youtube (Son of a Preacher Man).

Rio loves her. Watched several of her videos. Says she's "...a really really good singer. I want her to be my friend. I want her to sing forever."

Wonder what he'll think of Aretha....

updates
We've been having fun. Mateo had the week off from school, much to his dismay, but after a few days he settled into being home with his brother.

They've been such a joy lately, allowing us to do the things we didn't use to be able to do, like go to restaurants. And sit around reading while they by themselves.

Mateo biked to Barton Springs this morning with Joe and Carolyn. He was happy to get a ride back, though.

At school they were talking about electricity. The teacher asked for examples of things that use electricity. Mateo said, "Tesla coils!" He's been asking us to call Edwin and ask him to make a small one for Mateo. We had a little talk about all the reasons that would not happen.

Ilario is enjoying being out of school but I think he's missing his playmates. He wants to grow out his hair like Teo, which is a pity since it's summer.

Sad stories
Mateo came in as I was watching a very short film about a small robot who is created and plugged in and left alone for a minute. The robot wakes up, looks around, sees a bird out the window, tries to get to it but has too short of a power cord. Pulls and tries and finally unplugs, dashes towards the bird... and his power dies, eyes go dim.

Mateo's first comment in the opening moments was, "If I were making a robot like that, I'd give it a battery pack, not a cord!" Then he watched the whole thing and said, "Wow, that robot was really determined! Can I see it again?" I said sure, and went downstairs. He came down a few minutes later to get ready for bed.

"Mama," he called, as he changed clothes, voice a little quavery. "Mama, you know how sometimes I have a hard time?" Yes, I do. "That movie... at first I just thought it was really cool, but now I see that it was really sad."

He came in, face wet from tears, lay down and sobbed. "It's just that, he wanted to go out so badly, and he couldn't, and he almost made it! That made it worse. He was like a chicken living in a cage all his life, never able to leave."

And he cried and cried and cried.

Possesive
Rio arranged to marry CeCe months ago. Then around his birthday he proposed to another classmate, Helen. He reports that she told him only grown ups can marry, and he clarified that it was to be a long engagement, and then she agreed.

This changed his previous plan to marry CC, live with CC and Teo, and for CC to have a baby with Teo. He went through a phase of talking about pregnancy a lot because he can never give birth and that makes him sad, and so it pleases him to think about his best friend having a baby.

Then a week ago we went camping with Teo's school and one boy played with him all weekend, making sure he was included. Then last week two girls at the school played with him for half an hour during morning free time (when I sometimes hang out and talk with the kids or teacher).

So on the way home he told me he was planning to marry all of them - two 3 year old girls, two eight year old girls, and one eight year old boy.

Me: Rio, do you know that you don't have to marry everyone you live with? I live with Daddy and Silona but I'm only married to Daddy.
Rio: I know. But I want to marry all of them.
Me: Okay.... but why?
Rio (very serious): Because I don't want them to be able to marry anyone else. Or date anyone else!
Me: Um... but you're planning to marry a bunch of people. Is that fair?
Rio: Oh, they can marry each other too. But no one else.

Pyschic? I think not.
In bed:

Rio: Whenever you need me or want me, just think about it, and I'll think your thoughts, and I'll come to you.

Me: Really? You can hear my thoughts?

Rio: Yes.

Me: Wow. What am I thinking right now?

Rio: I know what you're thinking. But I'm not going to say.

Me: I see.

Rio: But I can see... I can see into your head. It's transparent to me.

Me: And what do you see?

Rio: Braaaiiinssss....

Me (laughing hard): Really?

Rio: Yes! I see something that looks like a rock but really it's your brains. And I can see your spinal cord. And your intestines. And your lungs. And the insides of your feet!

Sigh
Rio's preschool has a studio photographer come in and take pictures. If you bring a sibling they'll do sibling shots.

So the photographer was working hard, trying to get both my kids to smile at the same time. It isn't easy, I know. She tried some things that didn't work. "Say Chucky Cheese!" (confused looks). And then: "Say 'Girls are yucky!" Confused looks again.

We talked about it later (the boys and I; the photographer was still in the thick of it).

Me: She was trying to get you to smile. But I noticed some things confused you. Chucky Cheese is a place with pizza and games, so it would be like saying, "Say Radijazz!" And I guess she was being silly when she said to say girls are yucky.

Rio: But that was mean teasing.

Teo: No, it would have been mean teasing if she were a boy. But she's a girl, so it wasn't mean, it was just weird.

Kids update
Rio reveals his evil plans:

Rio: I'll PROVE it! I'll make a machine that will destroy all the children in the United States except for me!

Me:??? What will that prove?

Rio: It will destroy all the children! But not me!

Me: Yes, but what will that prove?

Rio: Then I will be the president of the United States of America!

( on showing the kids movies )

Magic powers
Rio: I try hard not to work magic on people.
Me: Oh?
Rio: Yeah.
Me: So you have magic powers but you don't use them?
Rio: Right.
Me: Why don't you use them?
Rio: Would you like to be turned into a frog? Or a scorpion?
Me: Not really.
Rio: That's why. No one really wants to be turned into other animals, so I don't do it to them.

Rio: Also I'm a fairy. But mostly when I fly I fly way faster than the speed of light. Bam! See, I just flew to Mars and back and you didn't even notice.

Teo and Chess
Though really I think a lot of it is genetics and not any action we've taken.

May I boast for a moment? Thank you.

The father of one of Teo's classmates started a chess club a month or two ago. The kids stay an hour after school once a week. Most of the 11 kids joined so they're at different levels and ages. For at least the first few meetings they alternated between instructing the kids who had some previous exposure to chess and instructing kids like Teo who were learning the basics. Mateo chose to go to the meetings not aimed at him and just watch.

Anyway.
The dad doing the instruction reports that Mateo stands out. That of all the kids in the club, he seems to have the potential to be an excellent chess player, and fast. "He's sharp, a fast learner, has a good strategic mind. He's kind of scary smart."

From what we see at home, he's definitely gotten a handle on the basics; that is, he knows how each piece moves, the relative value of each, and some basics of strategy. This week he's started asking us to play him (preferably spotting him a queen) and has been bullying Rio into playing him (with Teo giving suggestions for each move). Maybe he'll let my dad help him learn. I hope to get him together with Jesse, who's also into chess.

Finances and Dreams
Mateo has been saving money since he knew what it was. He scans the ground as he walks (he's even found a 10 dollar bill), he checks phone and newspaper return slots, he saves his allowance and Easter money and tooth money.

He's bought a few things - like a hammer for himself and one for Rio (the one that Rio had longed for) and he's donated a small amount, but mostly he saves it. David gives him interest in the Daddy Bank, which is very motivating.

Rio told Teo this morning that he'd pay him 2 bucks if he could pull of a specific parcor move that involved running up a tree (taller than Dave's height), working his way along the underside of a branch, and climbing to the topside. After a few attempts Mateo mastered it. Teo promptly deposited the money in the Daddy Bank.

I asked him what he's going to use that money for.

Teo: A car, of course.
Me: Oh?
Teo: just kidding. There's already too much pollution.
Me: Then what will you use it for?
Teo: Maybe a ticket to fly to New Zealand and back. Or I could pay a reasonable amount to get the rights to mine for gold. Or rubies.

Theology
Rio: Mama, everything is black, and everything is made of black, and everything is about black.

Me: What do you mean honey?

Rio: Everything is black and everything is about black.

Me: You just repeated yourself, you didn't tell me what you meant. Can you explain more?

Rio: There is a god who watches everything. He's up high and everywhere and he's black all over.

Teo: So space is God?

Rio: Yes. Exactly.

Me: Ok.

Rio: And God has a name. It's Mateo God Lucas Martinez Blumenthal.

Rio's dream
We were swimming in a pond, and then suddenly we realized it was the ocean really. And a whale swam up to us and was like, "hey, I want to go back to the ocean" and then swam towards shore and I was like, "No, that's the wrong way! The ocean is THAT way!" and so it swam off. But then alligators came and chased us! And Mimi and I waded towards shore so fast! But sharks ate the alligators so we were like "Hurray!"

Ok.

Who is it who says, "like" all the time? Is it me? Silona? Dave? Someone's taught him!

Rio at Four
I'm enjoying Rio a lot right now. He's so sweet and fun and cuddly and interesting to listen to. He is much less prone to temper tantrums and insults right now, though he still tends to take suggestions and corrections very personally.

He is still struggling his way through expectations; being compared to his brother and to girls. He does a lot of the comparing though I'm sure the rest of us do too, aware or unaware.

( parcour and princes )

girls and boys
In some ways Rio is stereotypically boy. He loves big trucks. He likes to watch them, to read about them, to wear clothes decorated with them. He plays rough, he plays in the dirt, and he likes to show off his muscles and boast about how tough and strong he is. Also, he holds on to his penis constantly. When Teo's (male) friends come over, Rio tries to take over playing with them.

But at preschool he plays only with the girls. They play pretend cooking with him. He says the boys are too rough and mean and that they like to fight, not play. He has always loved his play kitchen. He likes his pretend tools too, but only to look at, carry, and sort. But he uses his play kitchen to act out many kind of cooking.

( rio explores gender identity )

Interestingly, Mateo initially seemed amused and prepared to scoff at Rio's hair style, but then requested hair clips for his own bangs, and has worn them for the past several days.

Experiments: An act in four parts
(Several days pass between each part)

Part One
----------
Rio (from the bathroom): I'm doing an experiment!
Me (lazy, in the other room): Ok.
(many minutes of running water and weird noise)
Me (wandering in): What's your experiment?
Rio: I'm scrubbing the sink with my toothbrush!

Part Two
----------
Rio(from the bathroom): I'm doing an experiment!
Me (rushing in and confiscating my toothbrush): Not with my toothbrush you're not!

Part Three
----------
Rio(from the bathroom): I'm doing an experiment!
Me (lazy, in the other room): Does it involve toothbrushes?
Rio: No.
Me: Ok.
.... time passes, Rio comes out, Teo goes in ........
Teo: Agh! (splash! clatter! SPLASH!)
Me: Rio, what was your experiment?
Rio: I filled all the cups with water and put them on the shelf and the sink.

Part Four
-------------
Rio(from the bathroom): I'm doing an experiment!
Me (in the other room): Does it involve toothbrushes?
Rio: No.
Me: Will you leave cups full to the brim?
Rio: No.
Me: Ok.
.... time passes, Rio comes out, I go in and get a drink ........
Me: AUHGGGHH!! (spitting)
Me: Rio, did your experiment involve soap in the drinking cup??
Rio: Yes!

(To be fair, the soap was part of a larger experiment involving a foam fish and effects of water vs soapy water on it)

Teo update
Teo went through a really hard phase recently. He was undone by a series of changes followed by illness. He regressed to crying every bedtime that Dave put him to bed instead of me, weeping if I put him to bed and left before he slept. Dave and I had no date night for two months because Mateo was so devastated at being separated from me. When we did finally go out, Mateo shrieked and cried and punched at my mom when she took him away.

Once his last post-viral hell week ended he finally stabilized, thank goodness.

( random )
Teo has some insight into his social difficulties. He complained about a new boy in his school, saying this boy bumps him to get attention, crowds him on the couch, poured sand on another child, and offers tons of unsolicited advice. When Teo complained about him some more the next week, acknowledging that the boy was probably wanting to make friends or play but still very annoyed with him, I said, "You know, he sounds a little bit like you."

Teo leapt away from me, covering his face with hands, and yelled " Darn it! I was hoping you wouldn't notice!!!"

I check on the kids outside
Rio is swinging on the swing, alternately yelling "yaaaaaay!" and "darrrrnnn!" I don't know why.

Teo is chipping a piece of stone about the size of my palm. He sees me watching and holds it up with a piece of bamboo. He says, "I'm making a spear. This is my theory about how they will fit together. I've figured out that I need to chip out notches and then I'll wind a pipe cleaner around it to hold it on the handle."

I tell him that "theory" means "how you think things work," and that perhaps "plan" is a better word.

I wonder what his plans are once he makes the spear.

I wonder how large a weapon collection he has, counting his arrow heads, the axe he made from a cow bone, his new catapult, his bow and arrow...

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